I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize