you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Randomize