Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
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no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I will pee on everything he values.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
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When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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