i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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