i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
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Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
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His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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