A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
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Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
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Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
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