fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
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