Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize