You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
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she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
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He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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