Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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