We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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