I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize