That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Randomize