the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize