I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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