office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
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I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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