I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
He kissed a someone with a penis
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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