Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize