What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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