i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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