if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
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I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
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I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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