hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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