I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
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I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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