i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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