Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I'm gonna have a badass scar
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize