You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize