And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
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