Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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