Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
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She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
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Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize