well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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