someone threw a dead crab at me
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
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I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
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