homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
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got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
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