Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
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