Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
So much rum. So many feels.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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