oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
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Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
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I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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