I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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