I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
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Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
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apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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