hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
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the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
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Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
My feet surprised me
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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