i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize