i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize