you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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