I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
i will never coherently bang her
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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