Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize