I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
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Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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