remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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