im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize