My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
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