Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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