C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize