She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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